Mysterious brusies

The bruise on my knee:
The other day I am sitting in my papasan, reading a book. Princess Bride, if you must know. It was later in the evening. Probably around 6 or 7pm. Anyway, I'm reading and I get to the part where Westley finally makes it up to the top of the cliffs of Insanity when I hear something coming from the back yard: a very loud thump. So I set my book down and run outside. There, in my yard, is a leprechaun. He's digging. Actually, he is putting dirt back on something that he has just buried.
"What are you doing?" I ask, shining a flashlight at him.
"Rainbows land here sometimes," he replies. As I get closer to see what he is doing, I realize that he has buried a pot of gold in the back yard! The thing is, I soon learn, is that it will disappear if I try to dig it up if I rainbow is not shining on it as I am digging.
The leprechaun was pretty nice. A little testy and did not like me asking him so many questions. Up to that point, I had never met a leprechaun before. It was natural for me to ask lots of questions. I didn't know the next time I would run into such a rare person. When I asked him how much gold was in the pot and if it would be alright for me to dig it up the next time a rainbow landed in my yard, he kicked me. On my left knee. I don't know why he kicked me. If you ask me, it was not very nice of him, was it??

The bruise on my hip: I am playing baseball. It is bottom of the ninth. The bases are loaded. The game is tied. I'm up to bat. The first pitch comes. It's a fast one. Swing! I miss. The second pitch comes. Swing! I miss again. The third pitch comes. The pressure is on. CrAcK! A nice hit. It flies over the pitchers head and out into the right field. I start to run. The ball is thrown right over the head of the first basemen, so I keep running. Now I'm to second base. Third! I'm headed to home. "Slide!" the crowd yells, "Slide!" So I slide... just as the ball is thrown to the home baseman. "SAFE!" is all the umpire has to say.

The bruise on my right pinky:
I am in the grocery store, the dairy section of the store. I reach for the ice cream in the freezer and a polar bear's claw reaches out and scratches me. I admit that I am lucky. It could have been worse. His claws were very sharp. But it was an accident. I guess I startled him when I abruptly reached for the ice cream. The bear, as any polar bear would have done, apologized for scratching me. He felt very sorry. I have no hard feelings for the bear. In fact, we're going to go see Surfs Up, the new movie about penguins together. It should be fun.

The bruises on my knuckles:
Boxing. I box. Don't you know that I box on the weekends? There was this match last weekend. And that's where I got the bruises on my knuckles. You should have seen the other guy, though.