Eating again

Food is good. I love food: healthy, fatty, greasy, chocolaty, green-y, fruity, milky...etc.

I did not have to force myself to eat this morning. My new best friend has been really great with helping me with my recent, funny eating habits. I told him that I have this funny quark... eating in front of guys. I can't do it. I can't eat in front of guys. Not really. I don't know why! It started in high school. I used to know why it was hard for me to eat in front of guys, but now I don't remember. -lol- So, I have funny habits in the first place, but to top it off, I haven't had the desire to eat.

I woke up this morning-- in my new home, by the way; I'm living with my sister and her husband--- and I wanted cereal. I wanted to eat! I haven't wanted to eat for over 2-4 weeks. (Refer to my "Accidental diet" blog) Wanting to eat feels good. Knowing that I am going to Australia feels good. Having a second best friend feels good. Living in my new home feels good.

Over all, I think I feel good. I'm eating again.

Accidental Diet

I've been starving myself for the past two weeks or so. Not on purpose, I promise. I just haven't felt like eating, especially when it is time to eat... When I wake up in the morning, I don't feel like eating breakfast. When it's around noon, I don't want to eat lunch. And when it's evening time, I don't want to eat dinner. I have to force myself to eat something. It's weird because I love food. I shouldn't have to remind myself to eat. I should just eat when I'm hungry, when it's time to eat. But nooooo...!

I make myself eat. No worries. I'm not anorexic or anything. In fact, lately, all I've been eating is healthy food. I've been eating a lot of salads and fruit. I don't want to cook. It's too hot, for one. I don't want to go out to eat. I don't have money. So, I eat fruits and vegetables, once in a while some cold chicken or cold turkey.

I think I've lost some weight. I wasn't meaning to. It just happened. I don't think it's a lot of weight, but I've still lost some.

Why am I not eating? I wish I could say that I'm in love. It would be terribly romantic if I wasn't eating for the sake of love. But I'm not. At least, I don't think I'm in love. I've never actually been in love before, not really. What does it feel like? If I'm in love, who am I in love with? I probably should know that. hmmm....I guess I'm not in love.

I'm not on a diet. I don't do diets. I break them. If I am on a diet, I'm not aware of it. No one told me I was on one. Well, whatever diet I'm on that I'm not aware of, it's working because I've lost a little weight.

Maybe I'm fasting. I mean, I am constantly praying and thinking about my mission call. Maybe, subconsciously--- and without realizing it--- I am trying to fast for 40 days and 40 nights. Or at least until I get my call, which (by the way) should be in the next 2 to 6 weeks! Maybe I'll get back to my good-old-stuffing-my-face-and-eating-junk-food-self when I get my call.