Confidence to Serve

I'm not getting married. Not now, anyway. I'm going on a mission!--- Seriously, I am. I don't understand the confusion that is, apparently, floating around from family member to family member, friend to friend. I'm not marrying my boy friend. I'm not getting married right now. I'm going on a mission!

I guess I can see where there is a little confusion. I hang out with him a lot. Yes, yes. And I am in love. (I've never been in love before. It is exciting, breath-taking and fun!...) But we don't hang out because we're planning on getting married. We don't even expect to be boy friend and girl friend when I get back from Australia. (At least, I don't. Whatever happens will happen, I suppose.) The only thing that we are certain about is that we are best friends... ALWAYS!

It's interesting how, in general, you begin to acquire traits from the people you hang out with the most. Hanging out with my boy friend/ best friend has helped me to acquire some very cool, interesting traits. Along with a long list of things, the biggest, and probably the most helpful, I'd have to say, is CONFIDENCE.

Being his best friend and knowing that he loves me gives me this... huge.... super-power like confidence in myself that I never thought possible. I've always been a little shy, afraid to speak up. Now I feel like "shouting from the roof tops!" as Rascal Flatts would describe it.

I've always been a cautious person, afraid to try new things: experiences, challenges, food, etc. I think about all the possibilities of 'what could go wrong!' and I generally scare myself out of doing it. Not anymore. I'm not saying that I'm totally out of control and I do crazy things for the heck of it. But I am willing to try new things. I'm not afraid!--- Why should I be when I know my boy friend/ best friend is right there, loving me and supportive of me trying new things? Even when he isn't right there, holding my hand, I don't feel afraid. When I got some shots, for example, he wasn't there with me. I was--- let's face it--- deathly afraid: all of the possibilities of 'what could go wrong' started to scare me a little; but I was wearing his hat and I knew that he wouldn't want me to be scared. So I wasn't.

I am feeling confident: in my looks, words, work, abilities, talents...! And I am confident that I am going to be the best missionary I can be. He was once a missionary, you know. And he was great! Perhaps if I hang out with him enough, he will teach me the secrets to a successful mission. "I want to make you proud," I once told him. He smiled and said, "I know you will."

I want to!! I want to!!... I want to be a great missionary in Australia! I want to be brave... because Australians aren't afraid of hardly anything... (maybe crocodiles). And I want to be confident: not afraid to say hello to someone new, know that I have something worth saying, able to bear my testimony with confidence....!

I am going on a mission!!! yeeeeeessssssssss!! :)