Stretched and Pulled

I've heard of missionaries who leave offending people. Friends and family become bitter and angry because of what the missionary who just departed said and did or didn't do....

I vowed that I would try my hardest not to offend anyone before I leave.

Just before one of my friends left for his mission, he hurt my feelings. It was something very small, but I refused to write him while he was gone because of it, and I was upset with him for a long while. I eventually got over it, realized I was being stupid for being upset over something so small. My friend has matured and just came home from his mission. I'm really proud of him.

At the time that he offended me I didn't understand. How could he be so selfish, so careless? As I am preparing to leave, I realize that he was just human. He probably didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Maybe he didn't even realize that he had.

I'm not perfect. I'm human. I make mistakes, and I have been trying very hard to do what I think is best. At the same time, I have been trying to do what I think is most fun for me.

I suppose it isn't fair that I spent most of my time with my boy friend (and best friend) and not my family. They are going to miss me. I can't blame them. But my thinking has been: my family will be here when I get back; my boy friend probably won't be. I should enjoy being with him while I can.

So, I have been feeling stretched and pulled this last week or so. I want to be with Mac. I love Mac so much. I want to be with my sisters. They're a lot of fun. My parents, well, sometimes drive me up the wall, but I love my parents. I really do.

I'm sorry that I haven't spent time with everyone equally. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone because of it... or if I have offended anyone in any other way. I'm human. I'm not perfect.